Friday, May 2, 2014

So you’re telling me kids change your life?

The 'Life Changer'
I don’t know why it has taken me so long to realize this.  People have been telling me for as long as my memory goes back that kids change your life forever.  I guess I always thought when people say that, they were trying to share some profound secret about how meaningful having a child is and the enrichment they add to your life.  I have no doubt this is true, and there is a reason why so many people have joined the baby club.  But what they were really trying to tell me is my every day, mundane life will NEVER. EVER. Be the same.  What they were really telling me was that going to Target or the grocery store alone would give me the same sense of relaxation that previously came from facials.  What they were really telling me was that now my meals are going to all happen after 9:00 when Zoe goes to sleep because before that we are too busy bathing, feeding and soothing her to sit down for a meal while she is awake.  What they were really telling me was that from now on, anytime a friend ask me if I want to do something with them I have a fearful moment of being a social pariah when I ask ‘is it okay if I bring Zoe?’  And the biggest thing that they were all trying to tell me when they said that my life would be changed forever is that now the idea of a date night with my husband is going to need to be planned out to the same level of detail as our 2 week European vacation.  I asked grandma a month ago if she would babysit for us on the weekend of our anniversary so we could go to a nice dinner.  I am now counting down the days until Saturday, May 24th the way I used to count down the days until Christmas as a child.  (only 22 more days to go!) 

These were pants and are now
capris.  Looks like it's time to
retire them.
I’m not going to lie… I suffer from FOMO to a degree.  Being pregnant and missing my first Gasparilla was hard on me.  (Note to self – ask grandma now if she will babysit on Gasparilla next year.)  But one of the ways having Zoe has change my life forever in a great way, is that she has given me a different type of FOMO.  I don’t want to miss anything from her growing up.  I don’t want to miss out on the first time she rolls over, sits up, crawls, walks, etc.  This week we hit a milestone that is already showing me how quickly she is going to grow up before my eyes.  After less than 3 months, I have to pack away all of her newborn clothes.  She has out grown them.  The tiny little girl that came early is now covered in fat rolls and quickly growing out of her outfits.  I am also dreading my first overnight work trip.  It is going to be here before I know it and instead of snuggling up next to this sweet girl reading bedtime stories, I am going to be alone in a cold hotel room.  Instead of smelling the intoxicating sent of Zoe’s hair after her bath, I will smell that stale bleach stench that lingers in every chain hotel sheets.  I have always had a passion for travel and once again, because of my baby, my life is changed forever including what traveling away from home feels like.

And now for some funny random stories: 
The Calm Before the Storm
1.  You’ve got a little something on your face…

I was hanging out in my kitchen with a girlfriend while we cooked dinner.  Zoe was in her ‘rock and play’ in the kitchen with us when she started to get a little fussy.  So I picked her up and was rocking her a bit in my arms until she calmed down.  I put her back down so I could continue cooking and went to wipe a little sweat from my forehead when I noticed I had something on my hands.  And on my shirt where I was holding Zoe… and on my forehead.  Yes.  Zoe had a leaky diaper and I was wearing her special surprise all over me.  That night, because of a diaper, Zoe and I both needed a clean outfit and a shower.

2.  You know you are a mom when…

One of the perks of my job and working from home is the flexible schedule.  They don’t care when I get my work done as long as I get it done.  So there are some days that I go to the gym in the middle of the day and then go back to work after Zoe is asleep.  I decided to take to take advantage of being able to avoid the crowds and went to the gym at 4:00, thinking I would beat the after work crowd.  What I didn't beat was the after high school crowd.  My gym was packed full of 16 year old athletes flirting with each other more than actually working out.  Here I am, 30 lbs overweight and 15 years older than these kids, watching 16 yr olds with flawless bodies skipping around in their tiny shorts and sports bras.  I mean talk about a confidence killer.  So I go over in the corner to work on the area where abs should go when I see two girls doing squats right next to me.  They were doing it all wrong.  I’m watching them and thinking, they are going to ruin their knees just like I did when I was their age.  So I went over to them and did my public service to tell them the proper way to do a squat so that they not only get a better work out but also so they don’t make the same mistake that I did.  WHAT?!  Who am I?  ‘When I was their age?’  Apparently I am 31 going on 60 and feel it is my responsibility to save teens from making the same mistake as me?  Whoa…